The 2012 Olympic Games will be held in London, the
International Olympic Committee has announced.
London won a two-way fight with Paris by 54 votes to 50 at
the IOC meeting in Singapore, after bids from Moscow, New York
and Madrid were eliminated as the back-handers obviously weren't
enough
Prime Minister Tony Blair called the win "a momentous
day" for Britain.
Paris had been favourites throughout the campaign but
London's hopes were raised after an impressive presentation by
Lord Coe, the bid chairman.
It will be the first time the Olympics has been held in
Britain since 1948.
Coe said: "This is just the most fantastic opportunity
to do everything we ever dreamed of in British sport."
The Queen, in a message to Coe, said: "I congratulate
you on reaching your one hundredth birthday" before setting
a corgi on him.
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After the announcement, it emerged London was ahead in every
round of voting except the second round when Madrid volunteered
to bid an extra €50,000.
News of London's victory really pissed off the Parisians who
had already spent a fortune on naff t-shirts
Shares of British construction companies soared, while
mortgage lenders predicted house prices in the capital would
rocket, so that side of the market will see no change
whatsoever.
Mr Blair had helped a Policeman push George Bush of a bicycle
in Gleneagles just for the hell of it, but his aides maintained
that he was no-where near Scotland at the time adding "Just
try proving it and see if your kneecaps are still there
tomorrow"
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Breaking off from the meeting of world leaders, he said of
London: "Many reckon it is the greatest capital city in the
world but the Olympics will soon set them straight on that
illusion"
Rogge had forecast a cliffhanger vote, and lost
£50 at Ladbrookes.
"We knew the two bids were very, very close. Well done,
London. It will be a superb Games and will strengthen the
Olympics," he said under duress.
An hour after the decision, London's bid leaders were greeted
by laughter as they signed the official contract to stage the
Games.
This is how the decision was made by the IOC in Singapore on
Wednesday:
 | Rock, Paper, Scissors
 | Arm wrestling. |
 | Ippy dippy |
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Madrid was seen as a consistent but not outstanding
candidate, while New York's bid was dogged by problems over
their proposed stadium, and Moscow was always seen as a joke.
The two cities had President Chirac and Prime Minister Blair
respectively told to go away and play nicely until it was time
for dinner.
Mr Chirac actually took part in the French capital's final
presentation on Wednesday, while Mr Blair opted to bugger off to
the pub.
London also called on England captain David Beckham to stop
posing for fashion shoots with his tart, whilst
Laurent Blanc and Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout were among those backing the
Paris bid.