ESCAPED TEDDY BEAR STABS CHILD• COUNCILLER REFUSES BRIBE • BUDDY HOLLY TRIBUTE BAND DIES IN FAKE PLANE CRASH • HUMAN HEAD FOUND IN MARMITE • STORK 'NOTHING LIKE BUTTER' CLAIM SCIENTISTS • NORWEGIAN CHEESE BAN LIFTED • POLICE SHOOT FULLY CLOTHED MAN •  HASTINGS SPACE PROBE REACHES EASTBOURNE - PICTURES • TOWN HALL RAPPED AS ROADS BUDGET 'SPENT ON TOFFEES' •  HOSPITAL 'FULL OF SICK PEOPLE' SHOCK • WACKO JACKO KISSES FACE GOODBYE• ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT 'STOLE ACCORDIONS TO ORDER' • MAN STINGS BEE• CHAV COUPLE SPLIT DUE TO "IRRECONCILABLE SIMILARITIES" •